The two-headed cerberus, part 1: Joining the club
Today we begin our look at the two-headed Cerberus: ORGANIZED RELIGION and ORGANIZED SKEPTICISM.
Have you ever noticed that all the people who call themselves "Kantians" actually know, understand, and believe in the things Kant believed? That's because the only way to actually be a Kantian is to hold beliefs that have some similarity to what Kant taught. On the other hand, suppose we made a Kant Club, all of whose members were called "Kantians." Then it would be possible for someone to be a "Kantian" without actually believing in Kant. All they have to do is to send off for a membership card! And suppose the Kant Club promulgated the idea that everyone outside the club was a moron. Then there would be a real incentive for people to join the club and call themselves "Kantians." But ostensibly you have to believe in Kant before you can join the club, right? Don't be a doofus. Joining the club only requires that you say you believe in Kant. If people can do that, nobody is going to bother actually reading Kant.
Now, suppose that Christian churches simply didn't exist. Then the only people who would call themselves "Christians" would be people who actually believe in the stuff Jesus taught. If you can't get baptized, then there's really no other definition of the word "Christian" than someone who actually is, in fact, a follower of Jesus! The problem is that 99.99% of Christians don't even pretend to believe anything remotely like what Jesus actually taught. How thoroughly have they perverted the message of the Gospels? They tell us that the central message of Christianity is "faith." What is "faith"? It means you believe in Christianity. Amazing! The central idea of Christianity is that you have to be a Christian. Well, that certainly sets Christianity apart from Islam. The Koran clearly states that you do not, in fact, have to be a Muslim in order to be a devout Muslim. In fact, I've known plenty of devout Muslims who were, in fact, Presbyterians.
If you actually bother to read the Gospels, minus the obscuring fog of two thousand years of DENIAL, you find that Jesus was simply teaching a message that most people can't hack. Jesus described "faith" as being like the Trust Game, in which you fall over backwards and a friend catches you before you hit the ground. Jesus tells his followers to give up their jobs and give everything they own to the poor, because hey, why not? God will take care of you. Jesus says that if a man sues you for your hat, give him your cloak as well. Why not? God will replace them, if you trust him to do it. Jesus even says that if your country is invaded, you shouldn't fight back. Just trust that the invasion is part of God's plan. When was the last time you heard a Christian talk about settling out of court for more than you got sued for?
The fact is that most "Christians" don't want to fling themselves backwards, because they don't trust God to catch them. So, they have to redefine "faith" so that instead of meaning true trust, it just means being a member of the Jesus Club (tm). Presto! No more need to believe in Jesus's bothersome teachings. And the end result is Rush Limbaugh and his dittoheads deriding the Christian Peacemaker hostages and their "idiotic theory" (i.e. Christianity,) and openly rooting for the terrorists who are threatening to kill them.
Now, what about skepticism? Well, suppose you wanted to pretend you were smarter than everyone else. But, you aren't comfortable with the idea of being exposed to new ideas and having to occasionally change your mind. Simple! Just subscribe to magazines like Skeptical Inquirer or Skeptic, or buy The Skeptic's Dictionary (aka The Skeptic's Catechism, in handy alphabetical order.) Join your local Skeptic's Society. Be sure to preface your opinions with "I'm a skeptic, so naturally..." As in, "I'm a skeptic, so naturally I don't believe in Bigfoot." If you're Michael Shermer, you can even write an article in Scientific American entitled "Skeptic", so that all your readers will know how skeptical you are, as opposed to all the gullible crap that fills the rest of Scientific American.
Now, I know what the Skeptics are saying at this point. "But we deserve to call ourselves Skeptics, because we really are skeptical!" Yeah, just like Pursuit of Excellence Institute is really an exemplar of excellence in all its forms. Look, two paragraphs ago all the Christians were whining, "You're taking Jesus out of context! We really are Christians!" If you were really so skeptical, then people could figure it out without you having to slap "SKEPTIC" over yourself and all your magazines.
Still not convinced? Just wait. This is only the end of the beginning.
Have you ever noticed that all the people who call themselves "Kantians" actually know, understand, and believe in the things Kant believed? That's because the only way to actually be a Kantian is to hold beliefs that have some similarity to what Kant taught. On the other hand, suppose we made a Kant Club, all of whose members were called "Kantians." Then it would be possible for someone to be a "Kantian" without actually believing in Kant. All they have to do is to send off for a membership card! And suppose the Kant Club promulgated the idea that everyone outside the club was a moron. Then there would be a real incentive for people to join the club and call themselves "Kantians." But ostensibly you have to believe in Kant before you can join the club, right? Don't be a doofus. Joining the club only requires that you say you believe in Kant. If people can do that, nobody is going to bother actually reading Kant.
Now, suppose that Christian churches simply didn't exist. Then the only people who would call themselves "Christians" would be people who actually believe in the stuff Jesus taught. If you can't get baptized, then there's really no other definition of the word "Christian" than someone who actually is, in fact, a follower of Jesus! The problem is that 99.99% of Christians don't even pretend to believe anything remotely like what Jesus actually taught. How thoroughly have they perverted the message of the Gospels? They tell us that the central message of Christianity is "faith." What is "faith"? It means you believe in Christianity. Amazing! The central idea of Christianity is that you have to be a Christian. Well, that certainly sets Christianity apart from Islam. The Koran clearly states that you do not, in fact, have to be a Muslim in order to be a devout Muslim. In fact, I've known plenty of devout Muslims who were, in fact, Presbyterians.
If you actually bother to read the Gospels, minus the obscuring fog of two thousand years of DENIAL, you find that Jesus was simply teaching a message that most people can't hack. Jesus described "faith" as being like the Trust Game, in which you fall over backwards and a friend catches you before you hit the ground. Jesus tells his followers to give up their jobs and give everything they own to the poor, because hey, why not? God will take care of you. Jesus says that if a man sues you for your hat, give him your cloak as well. Why not? God will replace them, if you trust him to do it. Jesus even says that if your country is invaded, you shouldn't fight back. Just trust that the invasion is part of God's plan. When was the last time you heard a Christian talk about settling out of court for more than you got sued for?
The fact is that most "Christians" don't want to fling themselves backwards, because they don't trust God to catch them. So, they have to redefine "faith" so that instead of meaning true trust, it just means being a member of the Jesus Club (tm). Presto! No more need to believe in Jesus's bothersome teachings. And the end result is Rush Limbaugh and his dittoheads deriding the Christian Peacemaker hostages and their "idiotic theory" (i.e. Christianity,) and openly rooting for the terrorists who are threatening to kill them.
Now, what about skepticism? Well, suppose you wanted to pretend you were smarter than everyone else. But, you aren't comfortable with the idea of being exposed to new ideas and having to occasionally change your mind. Simple! Just subscribe to magazines like Skeptical Inquirer or Skeptic, or buy The Skeptic's Dictionary (aka The Skeptic's Catechism, in handy alphabetical order.) Join your local Skeptic's Society. Be sure to preface your opinions with "I'm a skeptic, so naturally..." As in, "I'm a skeptic, so naturally I don't believe in Bigfoot." If you're Michael Shermer, you can even write an article in Scientific American entitled "Skeptic", so that all your readers will know how skeptical you are, as opposed to all the gullible crap that fills the rest of Scientific American.
Now, I know what the Skeptics are saying at this point. "But we deserve to call ourselves Skeptics, because we really are skeptical!" Yeah, just like Pursuit of Excellence Institute is really an exemplar of excellence in all its forms. Look, two paragraphs ago all the Christians were whining, "You're taking Jesus out of context! We really are Christians!" If you were really so skeptical, then people could figure it out without you having to slap "SKEPTIC" over yourself and all your magazines.
Still not convinced? Just wait. This is only the end of the beginning.
posted by Wintermute at 11:11 PM
1 Comments:
I must say that this is by far the most distorted view of Christianity that I have read in awhile. The part that really got me was "the obscuring fog of two thousand years of DENIAL".
You must have read the Da Vinci Code and thought it to be truth.
However, as a "Christian" I do have to agree with you on one point. I too am disheartened by "organized religion". That is why I choose instead a personal relationship that is not dependant on the thoughts or ideas of anyone else except Christ.
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